The Record
The title of this, the last post of 2023, comes from the album by the supergroup, Boygenius. To my surprise, The Record became my favorite album of the year.
Much like the album that songwriters, Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus collaborated on, this year has been one full of twists and turns. And pleasant surprises too.
But where does one begin to break down the last twelve months?
To find a new perspective on events that have been covered within various posts on all of my social media feeds. Without rehashing the entire year from start to finish. Hence, why I’ve been dragging my feet in putting this post together.
I take a look at my desk and see the following items, a gold four-leaf clover, a wooden relief of a religious icon, and the bamboo plant next to my tripod and ring light. All of those items have come from moments that have made 2023 the year that it has been. The same could be said for the New York Poetry Festival poster on my closet door, the Hellas scarf, AEK Athens, Santorini, and Titakis Wines t-shirts. And just out of the sight of my eye, a wine cork from one of the bottles that I brought back home. All of these things are symbols. Of moments where I’ve stepped out far from my comfort zone. The memories come flooding back into my mind.
Did I expect to have another chapter in a multi-author book? No, I did not. It was only something that I was seeking. Yet in April, the opportunity came along to participate in the book, Going Places from Sulit Press. I was shocked that the yes came down so quickly. But it felt like the right fit. As the process went on, it was an ego check, as I learned that it takes a lot more effort to tell the story of a trip that was such a formative moment in my love of travel. The end result was worth all the moments of questioning my prowess as a writer with the full retelling of my 2015 trip to Spain in much more detail than I’ve ever brought up on previous occasions. The joy was palpable in the wee hours of October 4th as day broke over Santorini on the book’s launch day. The moment of vindication came upon hearing the news that the book became a bestseller. The clover in my hand reminds me of the success that Going Places.
The icon, sitting in the center of my desk.
She’s a bit of a mystery. I can’t find out who she is online, only that I’ve been told that she’s the patron saint of a good night's sleep when I bought the wooden relief from her. After numerous nights of waking up early during the Greece trip, I thought that it wouldn’t hurt to have a piece of divine intervention on my person. As I’m not usually focused on the spiritual world. But when you’re climbing ninety-six steps to reach a convent overlooking elephant-shaped rock formations in Meteora, the spirits end up finding you. And they look after you, even if you don’t realize it as they did during each climb of the Greece trip from the heat at the Acropolis to the narrow walkways of Oia. Along with thirty-two of my fellow travelers over the fourteen days.
The bamboo plant is affectionately known as Bambooey.
I was hesitant to bring it into my life. As I don’t have the best track record when it comes to taking care of things. That, and I have a high resistance to making change. But at a friend’s suggestion, I needed something to liven up my room as all the artwork in it had been on the walls for years. I dragged my feet in picking the right plant but I knew from its pebbled box that I’d found the right one. When I wake up in the morning, the shadow of it is one of the first things that greet me in the darkness of the early morning hours. A sign of life and calm in a world that gets so noisy at times that tuning things out becomes difficult if not impossible to do.
At the bottom of my closet door is the green and white poster.
I didn’t have the Poetry Festival on the cards for this year, but it’s been something that I’ve wanted to visit for the longest time. With the summer heat being unbearable, I skipped the first day of the weekend. Thankfully, the heat backed off and the blue skies returned. But something was still on my mind, whether or not I would make it to the open mic stage, the Ring of Daisies. I’d never performed for a physical audience before, as all my recitations of poetry have been virtual. As I made my way to Governor’s Island, I was still unsure of participating with no poems on hand to read. Walking around the site, I was awash in the sounds of other poets speaking their truth and I listened to those who were on the open mic stage. Without fear or judgment, I took the leap and signed up for my turn behind the microphone. And sure enough, my time came to speak. I felt the weight of my own expectations lifted off of my shoulders as both pieces were read aloud. I can be open and vulnerable in front of other people and have it feel as if I accomplished something big in the process.
The T-shirts, the Hellas scarf, and the wine cork.
I came back to Greece once again with those items. The fourteen days pushed me to my limits. A long trip that covered the mainland and the islands of Crete and Santorini. One that I was reluctant to schedule at the end of November 2022 as I was unemployed at the time. But my heart was still set on traveling in the new year and I pushed the trip back as far as I could, in the hope that my job situation would stabilize before departure on the first day of autumn. Little did I know that not only did my job situation get stable after nine months of working as a temp, but that a full-time job offer would appear at the halfway point of the trip. From my hotel room in Athens, I said yes to the offer of employment. From there, the island leg of the trip took on a celebratory tone.
Coming back to my room, I try to find the common link between all of the items mentioned.
I begin to realize, these items are all symbols of how far I’ve come over the last year. Proving my capabilities over and over again. From pushing my physical limits to opening myself up in front of an audience and on the page. Embracing new opportunities and even going out of my way to make things happen at times. As I lie back on my bed, I feel the sense of initiative taken against my long-held resistance to making changes in my life. Making it through the chaos of the year that was 2023. Here’s hoping that there are more moments of accomplishment and breaking through my barriers to come in the new year.
From my heart to yours dear reader, I wish that everything you’ve ever dreamed of comes true in 2024.
As is tradition with the last post of this year, Mr. Stephen Sondheim gives the last word.
His lyrics from the song “I’m Still Here”, summarize the resolve to not give up on myself even when everything seems to be heading in the wrong direction. I can hear the music and the following words coming to mind…
I've run the gamut.
A to Z.
Three cheers and dammit,
C'est la vie.
I got through all of last year
And I'm here.
Lord knows, at least I was there,
And I'm here!
Look who's here!
I'm still here!
