Rebel heart
2018 has been an eventful year. It’s also been the most difficult year in recent memory. Yet, I survived to tell the tale. Where does one begin to wrap up the last twelve months of time?
This year began in the early hours of New Year’s Day as I walked with my friend Molly to the subway after her show on NYE at Pangea, No Thrill From Champagne. Everything felt possible on a bitterly cold night and my last minute gambit to go paid off as I enjoyed every minute of the night. Later in the month , I would have my second show of the year, in another new place, Jazz at Lincoln Center. I’d always gone through the Time Warner Center during my college years but I’d never gone up the embossed elevators until the last Friday night in January. With a view of Columbus Circle and Central Park in the background, I went to see Nilson Mata’s Brazilian Voyage, with my friend Fabiana joining the group as a guest vocalist. Between the music, Fabiana’s presence reminding me of Astrud Gilberto and a glass of Leblon Cacha in hand, it felt as if I was in Brazil for the night.
February would bring a major change in the work side of the fence as the hierarchy of the warehouse changed completely. On Valentine’s Day no less, it was hard to feel the love when three coworkers and friends all depart within a two week period. This on top of half the staff already being previously shifted at the end of the previous year. It wasn’t all doom and gloom though as I started the month with another taste of South America in Tango Fire at the Queens Theater in the Park. I could feel the passion sitting in the front row and wished that I didn’t give up on dancing so easily. At mid month, I would have my next concert, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds at Radio City Music Hall. It was the third time that I saw him live and the thrill of belting out “Don’t Look Back In Anger” at night’s end, along with the rest of his set list never gets old. The next morning, I would get a message that would introduce a new friend into my life. A few weeks earlier, I entered a contest via Royal Caribbean’s social media page and found that I won. The prize, a pair of tickets to the Knicks/Celtics game on 2/24 in a Signature Level suite. As Kiki emailed me an image of the tickets, I was skeptical but then I arrived at the suite and saw the panoramic view of the arena and my jaw dropped. Then, I saw her in her Knicks t-shirt, and I had my moment akin to Wayne seeing Cassandra in Wayne’s World for the first time with Dream Weaver playing in the background. I turned into Goofy when I introduced myself to her. Though the Knicks lost the game, I was on cloud nine with her sitting next to me and her joie d’vivre was a sign that she’s someone to befriend. And it wouldn’t be the last time that our paths would cross this year.
March and April would see the start of two friendships that would keep intersecting the rest of the year. During these months, I would go back and forth between shows for both of my friends, Eliane and Dawn. Up to this point, the only other time that I’d seen them was during the As Lolas show at Subrosa the previous May. But during these two months, I would see Eliane solo twice at Club Bonafide and Dawn with her band, ZapOte twice, at Club Bonafide and at Silvana uptown. The soulful grooves from both acts would see me through the busiest time of year.
The lusty month of May would introduce another new friend into the circle, Raquel. I returned to where this year began, Pangea. I’d heard of her show, Me and Mr. Jones: My Intimate Relationship with David Bowie. But as I sat down across the table from her friend Athena, I didn’t know what to expect. But the moment that her band launched into Moonage Daydream and she comes out in the Aladdin Sane outfit, I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face. As the show went on, I found out how much a part of life he was to her and she put the exclamation point on the night when Life on Mars ended the show. She was the real deal and I’d be back for an encore later in the year. This brought the sound to the vision of the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum seen in March.
I would have my next stumbling block as June began. I was on the phone with a donor and I went too aggressively with explaining our process. I said out loud, that it would be better to reiterate the rules now as opposed to not hearing the end of it later should things go wrong. To no surprise, I was written up for my trouble. In the end, everything worked out as the donation was a success. That afternoon, I was demoralized by my actions but a day of light came, in the form of my friend Kiki. On June 1st, I would come across another Royal Caribbean contest. This time, I had to guess the song from the visual puzzle. I knew it, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” but my brain was faster to the answer than my fingers could type it. As a result, I was the fourth in line with the answer and thought that I wouldn’t get picked. But there was Kiki’s email late that day saying that I won again. I won a pair of suite level tickets for U2’s show on 6/26 at MSG. I was off site that day and after dinner at Eataly, I made my way to the Garden. The moment I saw Kiki, I started to swoon as being in her company was enough, the fact that a U2 concert was happening was a nice bonus. The first half of the year ended with a sense of elevation.
As the second half of the year began, the live music kept coming. In the span of a month, I would see concerts by the Foo Fighters, Arctic Monkeys and the Smashing Pumpkins. First up was the Foos at Jones Beach. Gifted with a majestic sunset on the beach, it would set the stage for a marathon set filled with Dave’s charisma, and cameos from his daughter Violet providing backing vocals to The Sky is a Neighborhood and John Travolta in the audience. It was a long way back home as the Nice bus didn’t run after the show. But I was able to squeeze my way into a taxi before the heavens briefly opened up waiting for the LIRR. Ten days later, my next concert would be a lot closer to home, the Arctic Monkeys at Forest Hills Stadium. On a hot summer night, it was an amazing set punctuated by the encore of Star Treatment, a cover of The Strokes Is This It? and a roof raising R U Mine? to end the night. On August 1st, a show i didn’t think would happen did, The Smashing Pumpkins. With a set list comprised of the first five albums, it was a three hour tour de force and it brought a rare sight, Billy Corgan smiling. The remainder of the summer brought on the U.S.Open, the USMNT vs Brazil at MetLife Stadium and my friend Amanda’s show, Staying Alive at Joe’s Pub. All of this lead up to the main event of the year.
As Summer turned into Fall, my trip to Portugal finally arrived. I usually wait until the end of January to book the trip. But it was January 2nd and I happened to catch the Gate 1 weekly newsletter, The Deal and the trip, the 10 Day Classic Portugal was on sale. I used the midmorning break to make the reservation for September 21st to October 1st. Had I waited until that night or later, I would’ve lost the discount. So there I was on the Saturday evening in a familiar place, terminal 7 of JFK Airport. I boarded the Iberia Airlines flight bound for Madrid before changing planes on the way to Porto. I arrived in Portugal mid afternoon on Sunday where I’d meet a group of five women from Long Island on the same trip. That night, we would all meet up and with our tour manager Carlos, had dinner together. But not before I learned the hard way that I should be aware of my surroundings as I pulled on the door handle and spilled my glass of vinho verde on my shirt. The trip would start in the north of the country and work it’s way south to the capital in Lisbon. Along the way, we’d explore the vines of the country by a port wine tasting in Vila Nova de Gaia, explore the spiritual side in visiting the shrine of Fatima, the Sanctuary of the Bom Jesus, the Convent of Christ and numerous cathedrals, the culinary side with the pasteis de Natal and a the musical side with the fado dinner in Lisbon. Add in the small towns of Guimares, Braga, Tomar, Coimbra, Castell de Vie, Evora, Obidos, Nazare and Alcobaca, you have a beautiful country. The cherry on top of the sundae was the fact that all 41 members of the group welcomed me with open arms and were willing to lend an arm to get me through the heat, hills and cobblestones.One of our tour mates, Diane wished that I lived on the West coast so she could introduce me to her daughter. It’s that overwhelming sense of gratitude that led me to address everyone at the farewell dinner on the last night and to toast the country and Carlos for the work that he’s done. I was in a peaceful mood the entire trip until I woke up on the morning of the last day in tears. I didn’t want to leave and briefly thought of making a run for it in Madrid. But, reality beckoned as I flew home to NYC.
October was ladies month, punctuated by three events. I didn’t waste time trying to keep the post trip letdown at bay. The Friday after the trip, I went to see the trumpeter Bria Skonberg perform at Le Poisson Rouge. I came across her music on the flight home from Ireland the previous year. Her set was a joyous affair that chased away the saudade that set in the moment that I stepped off the plane at JFK. After the show, I was able to meet her and express my appreciation. At mid month, I went back to a familiar place, the Repetorio Espanol as I saw a familiar face, the flamenco dancer Olga Pericet’s newest show, En Foque. Coming off winning the Spanish National Dance Prize, her show was an homage to the famed flamenco dancer, Carmen Amaya. As I did when I first saw Olga Pericet the first time two years ago, I was enthralled by every move she made bolstered by the backing musicians. The month came to an end, with a concert by the band Garbage. The show at the Kings Theatre was in support of the 20th anniversary of their 1998 album, Version 2.0. It was a long, cold and rainy night but with a full performance of the album and all the b-sides and front woman Shirley Manson’s magnetic presence, it was well worth the trek.
A year full of change would reach it’s apex in November. After 30 years of waiting and considerable pressure, work would finally begin on the kitchen remodel. In mid November, the walls would be gutted showing the extent of water damage and in time, the kitchen would slowly take shape. It wasn’t without pitfalls along the way as for a time, we had to go to the basement to wash our dishes. On Thanksgiving night we pushed the dining table in the living room as the table in the den as cluttered and had dinner. A semblance of normalcy in a time where half the office changed hands and with so much negativity in the air, I wasn’t in a celebratory mood for my birthday. And when I was in the mood to celebrate, I went overboard with doing so at the holiday party a week later.
But as Christmas came around, a miracle happened. I came home on Christmas eve and turned on the lights in my den to see a cleared table festively draped. We may not have gone the full spectrum of decorations but it finally felt like Christmas. The next day brought me together with a close friend who happens to be an angel in disguise, as Jen Jinx invited me over for dinner. I made my way to Brooklyn and arrived at her door a little after 7pm and her boyfriend, Cyrus met me. I walk into the apartment and beaming smile comes to my face as I saw my former colleague Ira and then Jen herself. The two hours I was there felt like time stopped and the last four years never happened.I didn’t want the night to end. I’d hang onto the Christmas joy for dear life to ride out a week where I made a pair of mistakes with a major donation that made its way up the ladder and the final warning write up that deservedly followed. But as I celebrated my mom’s birthday Friday night with a glass of prosecco in my hand, it was nice to end the year on a positive note.
As 2018 comes to an end,it’s time to look ahead to 2019. So far, I have a repeat visit to Noche Flamenca at Joe’s Pub in January. Then, it’ll be Massive Attack celebrating the anniversary of their 1998 album, Mezzanine at Radio City Music Hall in mid March. Come the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I’ll be watching the USWNT take on Mexico in their last game prior to the World Cup in France this June. And come summer’s end, I’ll be taking a 13 day tour of France. Despite all that I’ve done, everyone around me and all that I’m looking forward to, I find myself at a crossroads. I feel stuck in life as the pressures of the day job and the unspoken need to show perfection in every phase has taken a toll on me. I’ll be passing the five years mark at my current position and I’m happy to get there. I need to sort myself out in the year to come. Hopefully by the end of the decade at this time next year, I’ll find my purpose in life.
As is tradition, the immortal words of Mr.Stephen Sondheim and the song from the 1971 show Follies, “I’m Still Here” bring the year to a close. I’ve run the gamut, A to Z. Three cheers and dammit, c’est la vie. I’ve made it through all of last year. And I’m here. Lord knows, at least I was there and I’m here. Look who’s here! I’m still here!
