Life Is Yours
"Life is Yours"
The words are the title of the band Foals's recently released new album. And the mantra heading into the second half of 2022.
But before we look ahead, it's time to look back at where we've been so far this year.
2022 began in the same way that 2021 did.
A dark house at midnight on New Year's Day. Just me, and my mini bottle of Mionetto Prosecco as our neighbors rang in the new year hours after we did at dinner. But I felt a sense of optimism anyway about the year ahead.
As I toasted in the New Year, I found the bottle of Prosecco as a backdrop for one of my poems at the start of 2022.
The sense of optimism would face it's first test at the end of January.
I should've seen this coming, the day that my coworker Becky left the donation call center. The cumulative effect of the pandemic and an increasingly demanding work environment, combined with family issues would lead to her departure. She & I had worked in the office for the last four years. I understood her reasons for why she left, but it was devastating to say goodbye to her. She was the rare coworker that I felt a connection to.
My sadness would be buried in the only two ways that I know how to do so: live music & writing.
The month of February began on a foggy night overlooking the Hudson River.
My friend Eliane Amherd was debuting her 2021 album, La Dégustation at City Vineyard on Groundhog Day. It was a moment of deja vu that brought me back to Pier 26. Though the weather outside may have been dreadful, inside City Vineyard felt like a ski chalet as she and her band sang about the wines of her home canton of Valais, Switzerland.
From L-R: Beat Kaestli, Rosa Avila, Eliane Amherd & Amanda Ruzza. The band’s all here during the album release show for Eliane’s album, La Degustation.
The day and night of fog was the inspiration for that day's Bad Poet prompt, a two part poem. Hosted by the artist Katie Kay Chelena, I would get a prompt each afternoon for the entire month of February. I had never written in consecutive days before, but I was in need of a challenge. With a reinvigorated imagination and different poetic subjects and forms, I was able to post for 29 straight days.
The Manhattan skyline, shrouded in snow and fog. At the end of the night, one can barely make out the buildings but you know they’re there behind the fog.
One of these days, those poems will see daylight again.
As all of this went on, I applied to be a guest on the And Life Happened podcast on a whim. I can't thank hosts Samantha and Jessica enough for having me as a guest to share my story of resiliency with a new audience.
A quarter of the way into the year, it was about to get a lot more animated.
Back in January 2021, I was introduced to the author, Kristin Sherry. She was looking for stories to feature in her children's book, "You've Got Quirks and You're Wonderful". Fast forward thirteen months and I'm holding a signed copy of her book in my hands. Me at nine years old meets me after he climbed up the Pyramid of the Sun. I never figured myself as an inspirational figure.
I can’t thank Kristin Sherry & Mel Schroder enough for being able to participate in their book, You’ve Got Quirks. And to my friend Reena Watts for introducing me to Kristin that set this entire arc in motion.
As my abundant self was being awakened with the start of spring. There was one last loose end from 2021 to tie up, though.
For Christmas last year, my sister & I traded Today Tix gift cards. She used hers for “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”, I used mine to see the revival of Stephen Sondheim’s musical, “Company”. It was all set for the matinee performance on the day after Christmas. That was, until cases of COVID forced the show to shut down for the afternoon and evening performances on the 26th. As devastated as I was, I still wanted to see my favorite Broadway show.
I had a week away from the office and figured it would be the perfect time to see the show. I was nervous, thinking that I would get to the theater and find out that the show was canceled at the last minute. On the afternoon of April 6th, I felt the nervousness increase, right until the lights went down at the Jacobs Theater at 2PM. And then began the overture, I was in heaven. That week was spent letting the previous four months go and relaxing, with Amy Kay’s “Poem A Day” challenge being the sole point of focus for the remainder of the month of April.
The marquee of the Jacobs Theater after the performance of Company wrapped up. It took four months longer than initially planned, but I finally got to see the show.
The April showers would turn into May flowers and a chance Made To Do This reunion.
Back in mid April, my friend Rachel had mentioned that she applied to take part in a media event, Unfair Advantage Live. She was accepted and would be visiting New York City from the United Kingdom. I couldn’t jump on the chance fast enough to meet up. So the plans were put into place and on the afternoon of May 9th, there she and my friend Tina were outside of the tapas bar Socarrat. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face for the entire rest of the day. Later in the evening, I had mentioned to both of them that our fellow colleague, Jayati, lived in Manhattan. So, we contacted her and by chance, she was able to join us at our table for the last part of the night. Between the beautiful day outside and the company I was in, surrounded by abundant food and drink, this couldn’t be a better day out if I tried.
The last shot of the evening, with Rachel, Jayati, Tina & myself. As the waitress took our photo. I don’t know why the smile that was there earlier in the day didn’t come out here. I guess it was beginning to hit me that our time together was almost over.
In addition to abundance, another new mantra was starting to take shape. My friend Wendy’s words, “Say yes to yourself”. Saying the words is easier than putting them into practice. Even the simple act of setting foot outside of the house ran into resistance, both internally and externally as COVID spread through the entire house. But the mantra still held space in my mind and in the last week, I set foot outside my bedroom door without needing an epic experience to do so. And as I walked through Central Park soaking up the sunshine, I was reminded how good life can be when one inhabits a positive space. I need to say yes to myself more.
When one takes the elevator up to the 5th floor of the Met, the Roof Garden is what you will find. Last Sunday, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and this was the view of the Manhattan skyline. With a Sierra Nevada Hazy Thing IPA in hand, I toasted to the idea of saying yes to myself and what it can bring.
On top of saying yes to myself more, I need to sort out my writing plans.
The follow up to “A Poetic Journey, Staying At Home” was supposed to have begun moving by now, but it hasn’t come to pass yet. I’ve still kept posting poetry to Instagram and completing my poems for the First Line Poets project. The way forward seems less clear than it did on Christmas Eve.
I also need to sort out my work life. Given all the difficulties incurred while working from home the last two years and all the turnover in the office this year, it’s a sign that things need to change. I’ve given my all for the call center but it looks like the flame is starting to flicker out with more workload on my shoulders each day. A change will come in the second half of the year, even if I don’t know yet where I will ultimately land.
As the second half of the year is about to begin, the calendar is mostly empty. All the focus will lead up to the end of August as Roger Waters brings his This Is Not A Drill! tour to Madison Square Garden on August 31st after a two year wait. Three weeks later, Italy finally awaits after two years of waiting. I’ve had visions of the canals of Venice, Michelangelo’s “David”, the Sistine Chapel and the island of Capri in my head since the trip was paid off last January.
A taste of what will come, as Italy lies in wait come September. After two years of waiting, I can’t wait to get on the flight to Venice and cross the Atlantic Ocean once again. The 12 days I would be there are on tap to be a magical experience.
The rest of this year remains unwritten.
As the words that began this post remind me once again, Life Is Yours!
The closing image. As one does when they’re in Lincoln Center on a sunny day in June with both a giant disco ball and the fountains are behind them.
